Last night as I rocked her I realized how I have been longing for this reality. My twenties have been somewhat of a struggle for me. I have always felt that something was missing. I went from knowing what I wanted to do with my life to not knowing where I was meant to go. I had some great jobs, and lost some great jobs. I moved around constantly trying to find my place in this world, trying to find out who I really am, and often looking in the wrong places, not bad places but the wrong ones. I found a job that I love, married the man that I love and have surrounded myself with wonderful friends and family, but deep down I felt there was something missing. Something within myself that I just could not fill. As I rocked Marilyn to sleep I realized that that thing that was missing was in my arms. That emptiness wasn't really empty but it was a longing, an internal longing that I had to be a mother. Something greater than I could have ever expected. There are still things I desire in life, like that Parisian flat, but this is something I do not believe I could have lived without. I am so thankful that I am able to experience this aspect of life.
|Marilyn on a cold morning watching me make some tea.|
|Snuggled up in her bedtime gear, don't you just love the pouty lip?|